1
When last we saw our
former president,
A mob of Lefties for his
blood were thirsting;
His veep likewise, but
feeling hesitant
(We fear his heart in
danger was of bursting)
To leave his sidekick’s
side, for the precedent
Would doubtless harm his
legacy, and worsting
The worst vice presidents
in history
Repulses Cheney—why’s
no mystery.
2
A politician’s
life’s a life of power
And privilege, addictive
as heroin,
And all but few will spend
their final hour
In office contemplating
how therein
To stay for good, preserve
this wilting flower,
This poppy whose effect
enslaves wherein
The “user” cares but
little that he’s cloyed
And reeking lust
for power unalloyed.
3
They’ll always tell you
that it’s not that way;
They’re in it for the good
that they can do;
But junkies lie (ain’t
that some news!) and say
Most anything (except the
truth) to you,
And if you’re gullible,
you’d better pray
These users keep their
distance so in lieu
Of non-existing lands of
milk and honey
You might escape with
(just a little) money.
4
Religion’s good for
snagging ready cash;
Your wallet’s where you’ll
find your pastor’s heart;
And politicians say
without abash
That money is the
all-important part
(A necessary evil they
would smash
If Congress used
their heads like Jean Paul Sartre)
Of their campaigns, but
hold them not at fault:
The System’s broke,
so open up the vault!
5
I can’t believe we’ve come
to stanza five;
Digressions always take up
so much space!
To say some more about
Dick Cheney’s jive
(And all the bull he
spewed smack in our face)
Was our intent; we didn’t
mean to dive
Into these waters with
such lack of grace.
Come Canto Three, we
promise to resume
Investigating Dick . . .
if we have room!
(Still can’t decide
which is the worst—
Canto the Second, or
Canto the First?)
Canto the First
Canto the Third
Canto the Fourth
The News Lampoon--Twisted News, Humor & Satire