Last updated 08/17/2008 11:48:02 AM Refresh for latest updates |
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WARNING! YOU MIGHT BE IN DANGER! Public Service Announcement February 8, 2008--You could be in DANGER! If you don't take action IMMEDIATELY, you and your family and friends could PAY a HEAVY PRICE! It has been reported to us that IMMINENT DANGER lurks near you and that you need to take certain steps to ENSURE YOUR SAFETY! If you don't take these steps EXACTLY AS WE DESCRIBE THEM, we cannot be held responsible for any PERSONAL HARM incurred by YOU OR YOUR FAMILY! This RED ALERT MUST NOT be ignored. If you do ignore it, you do so at your PERIL! CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS CONCERNING THIS IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! Details at eleven. This "public service announcement" was inspired by do-anything-for-ratings television station program managers. This WARNING is now officially cancelled. |
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The NewsLampoon.com is a satirical news website published by NewsLampoon, Inc. The News Lampoon uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. © Copyright 2008 by NewsLampoon. The News Lampoon is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. Last updated: 08/17/08.
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