Last updated 08/17/2008 11:48:02 AM Refresh for latest updates |
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Joran Van der Sloot Allegedly Lies about Lies From wire reports February 2, 2008, The Hague, Netherlands—Joran Van der Sloot told a Dutch journalist Friday that he was lying when he lied about his story, “which was a bunch of lies,” Van der Sloot allegedly claims. “I’m very sorry,” Van der Sloot reportedly said, his eyes reportedly welling up, “but I’m very confused right now. Pay no attention to my tears. I’m not crying.” “I do believe he was telling the truth when he said he was lying,” said the journalist. “The crocodile tears proved it, I’d say.” Van der Sloot’s latest lies came just hours after Aruban prosecutors announced they were re-opening the Natalie Holloway disappearance investigation, but the announcement can’t be verified. “We knew that if we lied around long enough,” supposedly said one of the alleged Aruban investigators, “that someone would solve this case for us. It’s good police work. Some of our best.” Peter R. de Vries, the Dutch journalist who claims he has Van der Sloot’s taped confession, says he thinks Van der Sloot may be lying, but that “No one can be sure. He lies so much.” “That is a lie!” Van der Sloot allegedly countered. "I never lie." The confession is tentatively scheduled to be played Sunday on Dutch television. “If you consider the source, it’s literally an incredible tape,” said de Vries. Asked why he threw wine in de Vries’ face two weeks ago after an appearance on the "Pauw & Witteman" television program, Van der Sloot said, “What program? I wasn’t on any Dutch television program, but don’t quote me on that.” (Posted 4:16 a.m. ET) |
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The NewsLampoon.com is a satirical news website published by NewsLampoon, Inc. The News Lampoon uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. © Copyright 2008 by NewsLampoon. The News Lampoon is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. Last updated: 08/17/08.
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