The News Lampoon.com

By Duane Wordsworth, News Lampoon reporter at large

"Gangsta" doughboy Sabatino

March 27, 2008--Last week this reporter posted a story on the News Lampoon about an L.A. Times article obtained through the Drudge Report concerning allegations by an alleged rap-world insider who claims Sean "Diddy" Combs was involved in the ambush and murder of fellow rapper Tupac Shakur.   The Smoking Gun website reported yesterday that the L.A. Times story was false, which makes the News Lampoon story double false.

In light of this appalling development, the News Lampoon is considering filing lawsuits against the L.A. Times, the Drudge Report, and the "gangsta" doughboy who started it all--James Sabatino.

The News Lampoon relies heavily on legitimate news websites like Drudge and the Times for its illegitimate "news" stories.  As any good liar knows, the most convincing lies are based in fact.  Ask any successful politician.  Hell, ask Mr. Sabatino!  Lies based on misinformation don't work for us.  We need at least a grain of substance to our stories because that's what visitors to our site--up to around 30 a day last time we checked--expect!

What makes it worse, The Smoking Gun story, entitled "Big Phat Liar," is far more entertaining than anything any News Lampoon writer could make up.  This Sabatino guy, this "gangsta" doughboy, is literally incredible.  He is a living example of "truth" being stranger than fiction.  This has caused the News Lampoon substantial  emotional distress, and we demand compensation.  Well, we might demand compensation.

Anyway, we apologize to Mr. Diddy for any distress our story may have caused him and urge, should he be considering action against us, that he direct his energy toward those truly at fault.

Incidentally, the L.A. Times has also issued an apology, but ours is sincere.

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