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Kevin Spacey, Mike Huckabee Brothers! By Mickey Sartre, NewsLampoon cub reporter February 11, 2008, Hollywood--Now they're really taking the gloves off. In a move by the McCain campaign intended to force presidential candidate Mike Huckabee to withdraw from the race, McCain operatives have begun spreading a rumor that actor Kevin Spacey was fathered by Huckabee. According to an inside source, Huckabee is supposed to have had a tryst with a waitress working at a roadside diner during a trip to Mississippi in 1958. Huckabee would have been 4 years old at the time.
"I know I'm sexy, but not that sexy," said Huckabee. "Actually, this is just another of Senator McCain's dirty tricks. He's getting desperate. Guess I'm going to have to get Chuck [Norris] after him." So the McCain-spread rumor is not true. But as Huckabee himself might say, "Where there's smoke, there's fire." As the NewsLampoon investigated the story, the rumors that a relationship between Spacey and Huckabee existed would not go away. Numerous calls to Spacey went unreturned. Still we persisted. Eventually we caught up with him at a Hollywood Starbucks, and finally the truth came out.
"I am Mike Huckabee's little brother," Spacey confessed. "It's not something I'm proud of, we're about as far apart politically as you could possibly be, but it's going to come out anyway, so I might as well tell you." "Our father took me on a trip with him when I was just a baby, and he lost me somewhere in Mississippi. The rumor is he left me at a roadside diner. Anyway, he never reported it to the police because it was too embarrassing. So he just went on home with the faith that someone would find me and I would be alright, which is what happened. But I don't give credit to God, as my natural father might. I give it to the people who found and nourished and raised me, who loved me. My real parents, the Spaceys, not the Huckabees. Are you happy now?" Confronted with the truth, McCain's campaign manager was unrepentent: "We thought the rumor we were spreading might be true." |
The NewsLampoon.com |
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Spacey: Born July
26, 1959