| News Lampoon | Ray Nagin: 'I Am A Vagina-Friendly Mayor' | |||
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Welcomes Vagina to to New Orleans, says, 'I'm in!'
By Ariel Trebuchet, News Lampoon staff writer
March 9, 2008, Hattiesburg, MS--Welcoming the author of the "Vagina Monologues" to his city, News Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin declared himself "a vagina-friendly mayor." "Vagina" author Eve Ensler came to New Orleans to promote the "V-Day" celebration, to be held there next month. Scheduled to appear at the 2-day event are Oprah Winfrey, Jane Fonda, Glenn Close, Salma Hayek, Sally Field, Christina Lahti and Faith Hill. Former President Bill Clinton, campaigning here in nearby Mississippi, caught wind of the action and immediately declared himself a "vagina-friendly former president."
"I think I've proven that," said Clinton. Mayor Nagin began his comments at the news conference by saying, "How am I gonna stand up and say, I'm a 'vagina-friendly' Mayor to these cameras after 'Chocolate City' and some of the other stuff that I've done. But you know what? I'm in." Other Mayors from across the country also want in on the action. "Who isn't vagina-friendly?" said Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson. "What cities, excepting San Francisco, Provincetown, and possibly New York, don't like vagina? I want in too. How do I sign up?" "New Orleans, Louisiana is the birthplace of jazz, you know," said Nagin, "and you know how those old jazz cats liked vagina. That's why it is so appropriate to have this event here. Plus, New Orleans kind of feels like a vagina, if you know what I mean. It's warm and wet. You follow? I'll probably get in trouble for this, but it won't be the first time vagina has gotten a man in trouble. I'm willing to accept the consequences. When I'm in, I'm in. Once I'm in, there ain't nothing gonna make me pull out. You can probably tell I'm very excited about this, but, like I said, vagina can do that to a man." .The News Lampoon--Twisted News, Humor & Satire
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