The News Lampoon.com

Twisted News, Humor & Satire

September 3, 2010

  News Lampoon
  MSNBC’s Olbermann To Be Fired Next Year

By Mickey Sartre, NewsLampoon cub reporter

January 29, 2008, New York—MSNBC has announced that "news anchor" Keith Olbermann will be fired on January 1, 2009.  This comes on the heels of Bill O’Reilly’s surprise announcement that he plans to leave his Fox News program, "The O’Reilly Factor," next year.

  “With O’Reilly gone and President Bush leaving, Keith won’t have anything to talk about,” said NBC News president Steve Capus.

  O’Reilly forecasts that, by next year, he will have achieved his goal of 50 billion dollars earned from sales of merchandise on his website, billoreilly.com, and is now said to be mulling over the possibility of launching "The O’Reilly Channel--All O'Reilly, All the Time," which he would use as a springboard toward a bid at the presidency in 2012.  If this happens, the possibility of MSNBC rehiring Olbermann would come into play.  Until then, MSNBC will need a new anchor and is said to be interested in ESPN's Kenny Mayne.

  "Kenny really impressed us on Dancing with the Stars, and, of course, the wry wit when you used to see him on SportsCenter," Capus said.

Olbermann denies reports that he has contacted O’Reilly about the possibility of being his campaign manager should O’Reilly decide to pursue the presidency.

  Efforts to contact O'Reilly via his website email were unsuccessful as the cable news giant's site allows email only from holders of billoreilly.com "Premium" memberships.  In the interest of "fair and balanced" reporting, the News Lampoon does not.

  In the meantime Olbermann will still have his sports gig, his blog, and will also pull in extra dollars as a Walter Pidgeon impersonator.

  Good night, Keith, and good luck!

 (Posted 6:01 a.m. ET; updated 6:52 a.m.)

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Last updated: 09/03/10