| Political superstar wants
Hillary and 'Mack' to 'put up a better fight' By Mickey
Sartre, News Lampoon cub reporter
February 21, 2008, Toledo--In an effort to help build goodwill
and bolster the floundering campaigns of his rivals, political superstar
Barack Obama has sent checks to Hillary Clinton and John McCain.
"Barack can afford it," said Obama campaign manager David Pouffle.
"We're receiving so much money from supporters, we hardly know what to do
with it." To illustrate his point, Pouffle reached into his jacket
pocket and pulled out a handful of folded, spindled, and mutilated checks.
"Think the bank will still accept these?"
News Lampoon obtained copies of the two $5,000,000 checks, issued to
Clinton and McCain and endorsed by Obama himself. On the memo lines
of each check is written in small, spidery script, "Good luck! Let
me know if you need more."
"Barack is doing this against my advice," said Pouffle. "No
competent campaign manager would sign off on a move like this."
Obama has refused to comment about the checks, but an Obama campaign
insider says that the candidate "feels bad" about the financial struggles Clinton
and McCain are having. "He really likes them both," said the source.
"He knows how stressful it can be when you don't have any money. He's
been there. He
wants to help Hillary and "Mack" put up a better fight. Barack
thinks the American people deserve nothing less."
The NewsLampoon--Twisted News,
Humor & Satire
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