Last updated 08/17/2008 11:48:03 AM Refresh for latest updates |
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Obama Freaks January 21, 2008, Columbia—Today, as Barak Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John Edwards prepare to speak at a Martin Luther King Day rally, Mr. Obama, surrounded by huge body guards, adoring fans, and friendly police, participated in a peaceful march to the South Carolina capitol. What a difference 45 years makes. No fire hoses, no attack dogs, no beatings. In an ongoing effort to wrest away King’s crown and place it on his own head, Obama last week intentionally got himself thrown into a Birmingham jail for jaywalking and then arguing with a reluctant Birmingham police officer. Upon release, according to sources close to the Illinois senator, Obama intended to produce his own “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” one of the greatest American essays ever written. Already penned by his speechwriter, Obama's letter, copied onto a brown paper bag, was confiscated while he was booked into custody and was subsequently “lost,” according to jail officials. Upon learning that he would be required to wear a bright orange jumpsuit like the rest of the inmates, Obama demanded to be released immediately but was refused. Told he would have to produce bail first, an irate Obama “screamed like a damned woman,” according to Deputy Jimmy Ootz. “Hell, I thought it was my wife come for a visit there for a minute.” Obama had originally intended to spend three days in the jail, but upon being advised of the bad conditions and that he would not be allowed to have his staff with him, Mister Obama changed his mind. “I can handle a couple hours, though, can’t I?” he reportedly asked his aides, who had never gone along fully with the plan but feared opposing it. Apparently he could not. "He freaked," laughed one of the aides. |
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The NewsLampoon.com is a satirical news website published by NewsLampoon, Inc. The News Lampoon uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. © Copyright 2008 by NewsLampoon. The News Lampoon is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. Last updated: 08/17/08.
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