| News Lampoon | Obama says 'No short people' | |||
| Doesn't
want any 'shrimps' around him or in line of sight By Mickey Sartre, News Lampoon cub reporter
March 5, 2008, San Antonio--Barack Obama told his staff Sunday that he doesn't want any short people around him. The Democrat presidential hopeful, who stands 6' 1½" tall, wrote in a memo obtained by the News Lampoon that he does not "want to see any shrimps close to [Obama] or in [Obama's] line of sight." "The guy thinks he's some kind of rock star," said staffer Joleene Rodriguez, who stands just 5' 1" tall. "First it was nothing but black jelly beans in the candy bowl, now this." Reportedly the candidate, who has been trying to stop smoking cigarettes, has taken a cue from his idol, former president Ronald Reagan, and begun eating jelly beans to help him fight his nicotine addiction. According to Rodriguez, Obama has ordered certain members of his staff to pick out the black jelly beans from the dozens of bags the campaign orders specially for him. "We started ordering bags of black jelly beans, but he didn't like that. He made us go back to ordering the bags with all the different-colored jelly beans and then pick out the black ones," said Rodriguez. "He makes us short Latinos and Latinas do all the dirty work. He won't let anyone eat the left-over jelly beans, either. He makes us throw them away." |
|
|||
