|
Publisher cites blogger deaths; workers fear brainwashing, heavier
work load
By Anonymous, News Lampoon cub reporter
April 7, 2008--Next time you hear from us, don't be surprised
if the entire tone of this website has changed. Why? Because
some dumb ass showed our boss, Rick Bishop, a
New York Times story.
The gist of the story is that bloggers work too
many hours and are keeling over dead because of it. The bloggers
cited in the story were old, in their fifties and sixties. Except
for Herm Welty, who won't tell anyone his age, most of us are in our
twenties. Just having turned nineteen, I'm the youngest.
Rick's calling it a "hiatus" and says it's a
"retreat-type deal at a nice resort," but he won't tell us the
name of the resort or its location, other than it's "someplace in
Florida." Our plane tickets will be given to us at the airport.
Once we land, we'll board a "nice bus" that will take us to our "nice
resort."
Rick says it's "strictly
voluntary," but that it would be in our "best interest to go." I
know what that means. If I don't go, I won't be seeing any more of
my stories published in the News Lampoon. Though we don't
have to pay our way, we're not getting paid, either.
The most ominous-sounding part of the memo
informing us about the "hiatus" is
the "free counseling (attendance mandatory)" paragraph.
Mark my words: they're going
to try to brainwash us into working more hours for less pay. He'll
also try to get us on board with this "Draft Jesse Ventura" thing. If they
try any of that crap on me, I'm walking.
Rick's already left. He's probably down
there preparing the Kool-Aid.
See you in two weeks, I hope.
The News Lampoon--Twisted News, Humor & Satire
|