Last updated 08/17/2008 11:48:04 AM Refresh for latest updates |
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Mike Gravel pulls late upset By Herm Welty, Political correspondent LAS VEGAS--Despite failing to attract a single vote or pick up any delegates, long-shot presidential candidate Mike Gravel was named the surprise winner of Saturday’s Democratic caucus in Nevada. “It was truly a stunning victory,” said DNC Chairman Howard Dean. “I wish this system was in place on a national level back in 2004.” The late results were announced after more than 48 hours of intense research, conducted by a team of game theorists at the University of Nevada-Las Vegas. A tousled-looking Dean made the announcement after meeting with the theorists for more than three hours. “We laughed, we cried,” said Dean. “I couldn’t see it at first but these researchers are tops in the field, being in Las Vegas and all. They insist Gravel won.” “I don’t understand it but at this point I’ll take it,” said Gravel. Gravel’s candidacy has been long on gumption but short on results until the Nevada caucus. His platform is built on eliminating the national income tax yet increasing social services, according to a campaign website hurriedly posted in the wake of Monday night’s announcement. Under Gravel’s plan, the government would raise funds by issuing casino vouchers to middle-class fathers. The inexperienced gamblers’ losses would then be split between the federal government and the casinos that choose to participate in the program. While fellow Democratic underdog Dennis Kucinich has fought hard to be included in events like Saturday night’s televised debate, Gravel concedes he enjoys skipping the intense preparation involved in making public appearances. “I’d say on to South Carolina but I think I’ll just hang since that’s been working,” he said. “I think we can safely say New Jersey is in the bag and we’ll just wait and see what happens in the other states.” “Nevadans have always prided themselves on thinking outside the box,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nevada. “This result shows we can think outside the ballot box as well.” |
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