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The News Lampoon Twisted News, Humor & Satire
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March Breaking the News Teasers February 'Breaking the News' Teasers April Backpages: March Backpages: 'Fitna' (Warning: contains graphic footage of death and violence) Ray Nagin, Vagina-Friendly Mayor ______________________ _______________________ _____________________ Watch the latest videos on YouTube.com _____________________ "Real News" Sites:
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______________________________________ Cost (in dollars) of the War in Iraq ____________________________________ July 25, 2008 Obama Berlin speech probably not all that great!
'A bunch of noise' to one, boring to another, ignored by the rest See Obama Berliner ______________________________________ July 23, 2008 Breck Boy busted! Exposed as rat!
Pretty-boy Edwards caught by 'Enquirer' with his pants down during late-night rendezvous with a real dog! See what we've got so far on this Developing Story ___________________________________ July 22, 2008 'Nigger' off limits to whites!
Goldberg says 'nigger' _____________________________ July 14, 2008 Welcome to the Big Leagues, Asshole!
Obama campaign decries magazine's satirical rendering as 'tasteless' And what is it exactly about the word "satire" that has you so confused? Does it say anywhere that it's nice? Who besides you wants to see "tasteful" satire? Oh, wait, we get it now--you thought you and your big-mouthed wife were somehow off limits. . . . See the rest of this Tastefully Satirical Story . . . Not! ___________________________________ July 13. 2008 10 Predictions for the home stretch The final months of the 2008 election season will be charged with sex and violence, making it the most interesting since '68 By Jerry Nostradamus, News Lampoon Seer
President Nader? Jerry Nostradamus is a descendent of renowned seer Michel Nostradamus. Click here for Jerry's frightening predictions! _______________________________ July 11, 2008
Welcome back, Richard! After completing perhaps his most challenging assignment ever, a stint in rehab following a humiliating 4:00 a.m. methamphetamine/sex-toy bust in New York's Central Park, a rejuvenated though perhaps less-manically energetic Richard Quest is back on the job at CNN International. Congrats, Richard! We never lost faith. Related story: Quest tries to hang himself from genitals! ____________________________ July 10, 2008 'Black hole' deemed racially insensitive term Click the link below to read more. . . . http://blogs.chron.com/sciguy/archives/2008/07/is_black_hole_a.html ____________________________________ July 9, 2008 Reverend Jackson says of Obama: 'Cut his nuts out'
"Well, they were hurtful and wrong, that's the whole point," Jackson said of his words. "And when you make mistakes you should not equivocate. You should be quick to go into offensive and not try to be evasive. And if it was said to him personally or in some public forum it would be even more hurtful. In this case, my error was responding to a question before a live mic. And so when he does hear them they will not be helpful; they will be hurtful. We have a relationship that can survive this." Watch the video, and note Reverend Jackson biting his lower lip as he simulates, with a vicious upward thrust, a knife attack.
________________________________________ Flash: Harry Reid blames Bush!
Prune-faced senate majority leader calls President Bush "a drag" See Reid Flash __________________ Wolfson joins FOX! Some call it a strange hybrid; I call it love at first bite By Ariel Trebuchet, News Lampoon columnist
Howard Wolfson July 8, 2008, New York--It's been consummated and could begin to show this week. The pairing of former Hillary Clinton campaign strategist Howard Wolfson with the FOX News Channel seems a strange one at first glance but might bear some interesting fruit. See Wolfson join battle with FOX _______________________________________ NBC to buy . . .
Some fear biased weather July 7, 2008, NEW YORK--With NBC Universal's announcement Sunday that they had reached a deal to buy The Weather Channel from Landmark Communications Inc. come fears by many from the right that NBC will provide weather coverage with a liberal "slant." See the change in The Weather Channel _____________________________________ An apology to our many readers . . . We're back! July 5, 2008--It was mainly my fault. It started back at the end of April with the retreat to Florida. I had thought that some time away might help everyone get their heads together. As anyone who has worked on a website such as The News Lampoon knows, the stress level is very high. I feared something or someone was going to give, so as any good manager/administrator-type guy (or gal) would do, I immediately took steps to ameliorate the problem. In the end, I had to ameliorate myself. See An apology _____________________________________
__________________________ The News Lampoon supports The Alliance for Climate Protection Climate video
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