January 31, 2008—In a move virtually guaranteeing not only the
Democratic Party nomination but probably the presidency as well, Barack
Obama secured the much-sought-after endorsement of professional wrestler
Terry “Hulk Hogan” Bollea. The announcement was made to a shocked
audience live on The Jimmy Kimmel Show.
“This may sound the death knell for Hillary’s campaign,” said FOX
News’ Charles Krauthammer. “I don’t see how she can continue after this
devastating of a blow. They say Edwards was to be the ‘kingmaker,’ well,
I think we now know who the true kingmaker is.”
A spokesperson for Hillary Clinton's campaign declined to
comment except to say, "We're assessing the situation, deciding what our
next move will be. Considering the magnitude of the announcement, we
believe it would be foolish to make any moves or announcements before
examining every available avenue, every available option."
The Hogan endorsement may also secure for Obama the endorsement of
John Edwards, who dropped out of the race Wednesday.
“We had been trying for the past month or so for the Hulk’s
endorsement,” said Elizabeth Edwards. “When he told us he was going with
Barack, that’s when I told John he should drop out, go for the
vice-presidency instead.”
Does this mean Edwards will endorse Obama?
“It depends,” said Mrs. Edwards.
“It doesn’t really matter now,” said Fox’s Brit Hume. “The
election’s as good as won for Obama. The Hulk is as good as ten Chuck
Norrises, maybe twenty, and you can throw in as many Schwarzeneggers,
Schwartzkopfs and Stallones as you like.”
“It amounts to tilting at windmills,” agreed Krauthammer. “The
Republicans might as well start aiming for 2012.”
Mike Huckabee, endorsed by wrestler Ric Flair, says Obama is a
“copycat.”
“But it's politics,” said Huckabee. “It’s a lot like
professional wrestling. A lot of cheating, a lot of lying, a lot of
fakes, and a lot of action.”
Earlier this week, Obama also received the endorsements of Senator
Edward Kennedy (D-Massachussetts) and his niece Caroline.
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