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Former Dem Candidate Fed Up
with 'Back-Stabbers' From wire reports
February 19, 2008, Akron--Senator Hillary Clinton (R-New York) announced
late last night "after a couple glasses of wine" that she is switching to
the Republican Party.
"I just like what they're about," said the former Democrat. "They
don't plagiarize," Clinton added, apparently in reference to
recent charges that opponent Barack Obama repeated nearly word-for-word a
speech by Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick without attributing it to
him.
"Democrats are back-stabbers," said Mrs. Clinton. "I should know
because I used to be one. When I was a Democrat, I stabbed countless
people in the back. So did Bill [Clinton]."
"I actually murdered some people," the former President, standing
shoulder-to-shoulder with the former First Lady, agreed. "But, see,
that's what Democrats do."
Asked if he was switching parties too, former-president Clinton said,
"No, the Republicans won't allow me in their party. Besides, too
many changes would have to be made, and I imagine that not too many people
would be interested in donating to my library if I were to change parties.
I'd like to change, but I just can't at this time. I will, however,
keep fighting for my wife. I'll just focus more on John McCain now
until Hillary wins the nomination, then I'll return to telling the truth
about Barack Obama, who, you might be interested to know, is a
socialist as well as a plagiarist and wife-beater."
"Democrats are liars and cheaters," Mrs. Clinton then said, gently
nudging her husband away from the lectern she made her announcement
from. "They cheat on their wives."
"Yes we do," said Mr. Clinton.
"I guess the chickens came home to roost," said Mrs. Clinton.
"Well, I'm coming home, too. I grew up a Republican, you know.
The prodigal child has returned."
The NewsLampoon--Twisted Humor & Satire
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