By Bruno Spinoza, News Lampoon body-language
expert
"Piece of garbage"
April 1, 2008, Cleveland--Why
they made me review this piece of garbage, I don't know. I guess
they think the body-language expert is supposed to do all the s*** nobody
else wants to do.
This is puppets we're talking about. What kind of body language
do puppets have?
I guess I could talk about the dialogue.
In the first place, if I could reach through the screen and grab whoever's
doing the talking and strangle them, I would. They're talking in
these real high, scratchy, sissy-sounding voices. Very irritating. In the
second place, it's fake because everyone knows President Bush can
barely speak English, let alone Jewish. Even if he did
speak Jewish, to make it realistic they would have to make
him screw up some of the words, and I didn't see anything like that here.
I guess I could watch it again to make sure, but there's no way I'm
watching this piece of s*** again.
The puppets are the worst I've ever seen.
They don't have any joints, and they just kind of hop around. And
what are they made out of, wood? They look like some retard carved
them with a butter knife using his feet. My six-year-old daughter
started watching it with me. She asked me why don't they use good
puppets, then she asked if she could leave. I don't blame her.
I wanted to leave too, but I figured they're paying me to watch it, so I
watched it.
I guess it's supposed to be for kids too.
The thing only lasts a minute or two, but it's very boring and stupid.
Very boring and stupid. Even the part when the little Jewish
kid stabs President Bush to death is boring. There ain't no way a
kid's going to watch this piece of crap. That's already been proved.
What they should do is have my six-year-old daughter make their next video
for them because I know she'd do a better job than these f*****g
hacks.
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