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News Lampoon |
Eight-year-old lawyer being sued! | |||
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Bar Association fears damage to reputation
From wire reports March 8, 2008--In an unprecedented display of solidarity, lawyers around the world have united to file a class-action suit against an 8-year-old boy who passed an entrance exam to a Brazilian law school. The boy, Joao Victor Portellinha, has set up an office in Sao Paulo and has already earned over $2,000,000. "Being a lawyer is easy," said little Joao. "All you have to do is lie, and they give you money. It's fun! "My dream is to be a federal judge, so I decided to take the test to see how I would do ... it was easy. But I studied a whole week before the test." The Bar Association fears the achievement of Joao will be taken as a sign that Brazil's law schools have low standards. A source close to the case said that the boy's age is not so much at issue as his maturity. "Joao has to learn that lawyers need to stick together. Some of his statements have been very damaging. He needs to learn to lie all the time, not just when he's in court." "Lawyers around the world are taking a hit on this," said L.A. celebrity-lawyer Robert Shapiro. "If we don't do something, we're going to get a bad reputation." "When I'm a judge," says the youngster, "I won't have to do anything except take money from people who want me to decide in their favor. It'll be even easier than what I'm doing now, and I'll make lots of friends and lots more money. Maybe someday I can be a politician or even have my own t.v. show. I can't wait!" University officials said they could not release figures on the number of people who pass and fail the law school entrance exam, but it is rumored that a 4-year-old girl has also passed. Clearly disgusted, Shapiro said of the Brazilian Bar Association: "Their standards are so low, even a cop could pass the test." The News Lampoon--Twisted News, Humor & Satire
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