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Paul/Ventura might be just the ticket to shake things up Editorial By Rick Bishop
April 2, 2008--Last night, Jesse Ventura appeared on Larry King's show and, as usual, made waves. Though he said the door to the presidency was all but closed for him, he did leave his fans some hope by not definitively saying that he would not run. He also caught the interest of Ron Paul's fans. (story continues below)
Most of us had thought the Paul candidacy was over, but as Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over till it's over." Or was it Hillary who said that? Whether you think it's a good idea or not, you have to admit that a Paul/Ventura ticket would make things very, very interesting. First, Paul would probably have to get out of the Republican party and run as some sort of Independent. I confess ignorance as to how that works. This is not a "real news" site, and I'm not a political scientist. I'm a hack writer/editor who likes to make fun of people. The thought of watching arrogant Republicans and whiny Democrats squirm, well--to paraphrase how Chris Matthews described his Obama crush--makes my legs tingle. That, I admit, is a large part of the reason I would love to see this ticket printed. I've already placed my order because I want to see Jesse Ventura place a strangle hold on the the Republicans and Democrats and then body slam 'em. (story continues below)
A few small problems. First, Mr. Ventura said he doesn't want to be vice president; he wants to be president. Second, he said we've already spent 500 million dollars in Iraq. That's actually 500 billion spent. We're confident that the former can be worked out and that the latter was just a slip of the tongue. The third problem is Ron Paul's voice. I called Democrats whiners, but that's mostly in a figurative sense. Ron Paul really does whine, or at least sounds like he's whining. I don't think it stems from emotional problems but suspect, rather, that it's some kind of vocal-chord paralysis or birth defect. In other words, it's just the way he talks. He probably can't help it, but his detractors won't care about that, so he needs a deep-voiced running mate like Jesse to offset that shortcoming. That's what Veeps are for. So let's see if we can get this done. We at the News Lampoon had thought that we were out of the endorsing business, but this is just too good to pass up. We endorse Ron Paul for president--but we hope he drafts Jesse Ventura as his running mate. Go to the News Lampoon Youtube page to learn more: http://www.youtube.com/newslamp Related Story: Could a Paul/Ventura tag team body-slam the Dem/Rep Powers That Be? To see where Ron Paul stands on the issues go to: http://www.ontheissues.org/Ron_Paul.htm __________________________________________ |
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