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Last updated 08/17/2008 11:48:04 AM

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Democrats Appoint Super-Duper Delegates!

 By Herm Welty

Political correspondent

February 11, 2208--In hopes of clearing up growing unease surrounding the selection of this year's Democratic presidential nominee, party leaders announced Monday the appointment of three "Super-Duper Delegates."

 “The race is tight and it’s expected to get tighter,” said party spokesperson Dindy Myers. “This accounts for a worst case, deadlock scenario when we get to Denver.”

 Myers identified DNC Chairman Howard Dean, longtime Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy and former President Jimmy Carter as the party’s Super-Duper Delegates.

 The leaders would square off in a three-way, steel-cage wrestling match on the convention's penultimate evening, Aug. 27. The last man standing would select the party’s nominee the next day.

 The plan comes in the wake of weekend primary results that have made the race for the nomination razor thin.

 Barack Obama currently leads rival Hillary Clinton in delegates but may fail to achieve the 2,025 needed to win outright. In that case, Clinton could narrowly win the nomination due to an edge in super delegates.

 Super delegates were established in 1980 to give fulltime party officials and professional politicians a bigger say in the nomination process.

 The 796 super delegates include all Democratic governors and members of Congress plus other prominent party members. Between 15 and 20 percent of delegates at Democratic conventions are super delegates.

 “The Super-Duper Delegate option just takes that rationale one step further,” said Myers. “It’s another way to consolidate power.”

 Details are still being ironed out, she noted. Advanced age, Kennedy’s cardiovascular conditioning and Carter’s overall frailty are concerns.

 “There is the possibility the Super-Dupers could name surrogates to fight in their place,” said Myers.

 Fiery New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin has already agreed to fight for Kennedy, according to one close family associate. Carter is thought to be considering longtime friend Hugo Chavez.

 “I’ll fight for myself,” said Dean, who attended Monday’s press conference wearing black wrestling tights under a green silk robe. “You’ve seen my passion. You’ve seen me throw wild uppercuts. I’m not afraid.”

 Obama’s campaign released a statement in support of the plan Monday afternoon. Kennedy recently endorsed the Illinois democrat and Carter’s endorsement is expected to come soon.

 Clinton campaign manager Maggie Williams said the plan needs work.

 “Hillary would like to see Bill involved in the formula in some way,” she said. “He’s one of just three surviving former presidents and of course every woman likes to see their man fight."

Front Page

February Backpages:

'Breaking the News' Teasers

Spacey Huckabee Brothers

Thank God! Is It Over?

Shuster Calls Clintons Pimps

WARNING

Elizabeth Edwards' Booty

Huckabee Calls Romney 'A Littlle Bitch

Today Is Tuesday

Belichick Says Giants Cheated

In light of the Super Bowl

Van der Sloot Lies about Lies

Snipes Dodges IRS 'Silver Bullet'

Debate a "Dud"

Body-Language

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January Backpages:

HOGAN ENDORSES OBAMA!

Gore Mulls Candidacy, 'Fart Tax'

Obama ‘Not Amused’ by Clinton 'B.O.' Crack

Bush: Indonesia’s Suharto 'Will Be Missed'

Obama Wins South Carolina; Clinton Vows Retribution

MSNBC’s Olbermann To Be Fired Next Year

Kucinich 'Going Galactic'

Edwards Sending “Scurrilous email”

Mike Gravel Pulls Late Upset

Obama “Freaks” in Birmingham Jail

McCain Escorted from Barbecue

Merriam-Webster Goofs

"Bright Cloud" Destroys Texas Town

MSNBC's Scarborough, Brzezinski Feud

Tom Cruise World- Dominance Scheme Derailed by Government

O.J. to Visit Cuba

Kucinich Arrested in 'Old-Style Brawl'

Romney Staffer Fired for Using Candidate as Coat Rack

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Last updated: 08/17/08.

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