| News Lampoon | Breck Boy busted! Exposed as rat! | |||
| Pretty-boy
Edwards caught by 'Enquirer' with his pants down during late-night
rendezvous with a 'real dog'!
By Ariel Trebuchet, News Lampoon columnist July 23, 2008--The
National Enquirer cornered the rat,
a.k.a. former United States Senator and twice-failed presidential
candidate John Edwards, during the
wee hours at an L.A. hotel. He'd stopped for a "quickie" with the
dog-faced matron who has borne his love child. Meanwhile, the rat's cancer-stricken wife, Elizabeth, whom Edwards shamelessly exploited in order to garner pity during his latest failed bid at the presidency, suffers back home in one of the Carolinas. The Enquirer story, which first broke last year and was met by the mainstream press with a gigantic, collective yawn and no coverage, should make poor Elizabeth Edwards feel much better. The latest installment in this story of love, betrayal, hypocrisy, bestiality, and rat-itude has also been largely ignored. After all, it might blow Edwards' chances of being media-darling Barack-O's V.P. Someone should, to steal a line from another well-known cheat and hypocrite, cut Breck Boy's nuts out. . . . The "other woman" is Rielle Hunter. Now, we know Elizabeth Edwards is no prize anymore, but this Hunter broad is a real dog. Talk about adding insult to injury! Edwards, of course, denies, denies, denies the story. Who would you believe, another cheating, lying politician? Don't bet your life on it. I'd bet mine that John Edwards' chances of being vice president are approximately zero, but his chances at President of Vice look pretty good. Developing. . . . |
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