86-year-old grandmother white racist!
By Ariel Trebuchet, News Lampoon columnist
Could you throw this sweet
old woman under a bus?
March 19, 2008--The words sounded
sweet, hopeful, seductive in their apparent sincerity. I was even
beginning to think he was sexy, that I might like to meet him. I
confess that I was getting turned on. I was even finding myself
willing to overlook the fact that he smokes cigarettes. Then he did
it. He threw Granny under the bus:
"I can no more disown [Jeremiah Wright] than
I can my white grandmother – a woman who helped raise me, a woman who
sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she
loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of
black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one
occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe."
What a turn-off! His words made me
Whose granny isn't afraid "of black men who
[pass] her on the street"? Who other than someone with a death wish
isn't afraid of black men on the street, period?
Who would you choose?
What makes it worse, he called her a racist
while defending the true racist, Barack's mentor, "the Ranting Rev," Pastor
And tell me, please, what kind of man would
tell the entire world these things about his own, defenseless granny
What a rat! Where are the men!
I did a little checking and found that this
poor old woman, who lovingly raised the cowardly Barack, is being held
prisoner somewhere in Hawaii. She is not allowed to speak to the
press. She is not allowed to speak to anyone except the large men in
suits and sunglasses who Barack hired to watch her twenty-four hours a
day. I have been told that Barack has also hired a sadistic
58-year-old, 6' tall German lesbian nurse to "take care of Granny's personal needs and keep her calm."
I suspect Granny is being drugged.
Therefore, I will add my voice to the rising
chorus of Americans who refuse to stand by while this poor woman in the
twilight of her life is being held captive in Hawaii--free Granny now!
Where is John McCain when you need him?
John McCain Slept with Me
Lampoon--Twisted News, Humor & Satire