| News Lampoon | Barack not audacious! | |||
| Pastor
Jeremiah Wright calls Obama 'chicken shit'; wants book title returned;
Obama joining white church By Mickey Sartre, News Lampoon cub reporter
March 17, 2008, Chicago--Barack Obama's former pastor, Jeremiah Wright, angered by Obama's disavowal, denunciation, and rejection of him, said yesterday that he wants the title of Obama's best-selling book, The Audacity of Hope, returned. "Barack himself has said the title of that book came from a title of one of my sermons," Pastor Wright said following services at his controversial Trinity United Church of Christ, where Obama was formerly a devotee. "Typical of Barack, he couldn't come up with his own title. He had to plagiarize mine. If you want to know the truth, I didn't know about Barack's book until after it was published. I've been told that most of the content of the book is taken from other people's lives. I heard Barack say yesterday that he is nothing but a bunch of little pieces of America. Maybe he should use that as a title. Or is that already taken? Not that it would matter to Barack." Pastor Wright may have been referring to James Frey's discredited book, A Million Little Pieces, which was featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show. The book was subsequently discovered to be fraudulent with Frey having used events of other people's lives and represented them as being from his own. The publisher pulled the books, and Frey was humiliated. "Barack not only steals book titles," Pastor Wright said, "he steals the content of other people's lives. If Dr. King was still alive he would certainly verify that. Barack has plagiarized Dr. King's life even to the extent that Dr. King was a plagiarist himself. Barack is boring and has no imagination. That's why he has to steal other people's shit. Yeah, we all know about Mr. Barack Hussein Obama. I'm glad he left our church. If you want to know the truth, I never did like him. We don't like chicken shits around here. He better not try coming back." The pastor said that if Obama's book title is not returned to him by the end of the month, he will take him to court. "I think I might be able to get a fair decision because my skin's a little lighter than Barack's. I'll teach that nigger to throw me under the bus. I guess he don't know who he's fuckin' with." When told of Pastor Wright's comments, Mr. Obama had no comment, but a source close to the candidate said that he is planning a surprise announcement, coinciding with St. Patrick's Day, that he is changing his last name to "O'Bama" and joining an Irish Catholic church. "Barack now feels more comfortable around white people," the source said. "He is half white, you know." See Related Story The News Lampoon--Twisted News, Humor & Satire
|
|
|||
