| News Lampoon | Author's harrowing tale a complete fabrication! | |||
| Why not just call it
fiction? By Bruno Spinoza, News Lampoon body-language expert
March 4, 2008, Cleveland--I started reading it, but I couldn't stand it anymore, so I threw it away. They asked me because they know that I know about that kind of s**t. Oops. Excuse my French. But all you have to do is look at her face to know that she's a liar. I don't know why they keep handing me these f*****g books to read. They know I hate to read. I guess it's just because I can tell things. I'm a master at spotting liars. That's how I got this job. I was playing cards with the Big Cheese and could tell what he had in his hand just by looking at him. He was the worst. I felt kinda sorry for him and gave him some pointers. He hired me on the spot as the body-language expert. You know, that b***h Oprah never gave me credit for catching that piece of s**t liar on her show. James Frey. It happened to be on during a card game. It was about the third day, and I heard this piece of s**t bragging about how tough he was. I started watching and knew right away he was a f*****g liar. That's what I told my buddies. You can ask. I said, "I'd bet my left nut that that m*****f****r is a lying piece of s**t." I had my sister email them, but they never got back to us. Next thing I know, that piece of s**t is back on Oprah crying like a little b***h about how sorry he is for lying. Remember that guy? His book was called A Million Little Pieces.
I would call it a Million Little Pieces of S**t. Oh yeah, almost forgot. Her name is Margaret B. Jones and the fake book is called Truth or Consequences, I think. She's supposed to be half-Indian and half-white. She ain't no f*****g Indian! Just look at her! I'd like to slap that look off her f*****g face! She looks a little bit like Frey, doesn't she? Anyway, she says she was a drug runner in L.A. and that she was a gang-banger and all this boo f*****g hoo s**t. I tried to read it, but I knew right away it was all bulls**t, so I threw it where it belongs--in the garbage. I hate liars. The funny thing is, somebody told me her name isn't really Margaret Jones. It's Margaret Seltzer. What a f*****g liar. She should go on tour with that piece of s**t Frey and try to sell their packs of lies together. What do they do with all those books anyway? |
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