| The News Lampoon | The worst cable 'news' person in the world! | |||
| Who would have thought
anyone could replace Bill O'Reilly as the worst cable news personality? By Freddy Spinks, News Lampoon media specialist February 27, 2008--Following are our three worst "news" personalities on cable television. The rankings are 1-5, with "1" being the least in a given criterion, "5" being the most. For instance, a "1" ranking in the "Stupidity" category would mean you're not all that stupid. If you couldn't figure that out yourself, you've earned yourself a "5" and might have what it takes to be one of these idiots masquerading as "journalists."
The criteria:
#3 Mika Brzezinski: Overall Ranking 4.99
Mika's father is former national security advisor for the Carter Administation Zbigniew Brzezinski. She has brothers working for the Barack Obama campaign and the McCain campaign (hey, that rhymed!). She constantly defends her family interests while she purses her lips, knits her brow, sucks in her cheeks, in short, puts on that moronic "I am a serious journalist" face. Mika is by far the stupidest of the three ranked "personalities," which is really saying something, but our ranking only goes up to 5. If you don't believe Mika is one of the stupidest people on Earth, ask Joe Scarborough. Mika's favorite poet is Maya Angelou.
#2 Bill O'Reilly--Overall ranking 4.996
It's not hard to think of O'Reilly as "number 2," because he is a piece of shit, but it is hard to imagine him as second worst "journalist" on cable television. #1 Keith Olbermann--Overall ranking 5.0
You've finally done it, Keith! You've actually been ranked higher than O'Reilly at something! You are the least-objective, tied for stupidest, most lacking in self-control, most incompetent, and otherwise worst cable "news" person in the world! The News Lampoon--Twisted News, Humor & Satire
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