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The News Lampoon Twisted News, Humor & Satire
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March Breaking the News Teasers February 'Breaking the News' Teasers April Backpages: March Backpages: 'Fitna' (Warning: contains graphic footage of death and violence) Ray Nagin, Vagina-Friendly Mayor ______________________ _______________________ _____________________ Watch the latest videos on YouTube.com _____________________ "Real News" Sites:
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______________________________________ Cost (in dollars) of the War in Iraq ____________________________________ What would you do? In support of the 'Ranting Rev'
Barack Obama--aka "Mickey Rat" April 29, 2008--What if someone you had loved and supported for twenty years had, in order to advance his career, publicly ridiculed you? What if you had taken this person under your wing, had, in a sense, adopted him? How would his betrayal make you feel? Furthermore, what if that person's denunciation of you consisted of lies? What would you do? See Judas ________________________ Obama a politician! Barack's former pastor makes shocking revelation!
April 25, 2008--Barack is a politician? This will come as shocking news to many Obama supporters, especially Barack's legions in the news media. Why has the Pastor exposed Barack? And the prospect of an Obama presidency gave us such hope. . . . Could we have been hoodwinked? Please excuse me while I clean the tears off my keyboard. __________________________________ In Memorium William Shakespeare is missed
April 23, 2008--Had he survived, William Shakespeare would be 444 years old today. Unfortunately, Mr. Shakespeare died too young. He was only 52. It is strange that he died on his birthday on April 23, 1616. How did this happen? This great mystery is one that perhaps only the great seer Nostradamus could have solved. Mr. Shakespeare authored such classic horror plays as The Beast with Two Backs and The Green-Eyed Monster. He also authored To Be or Not To Be, the story of a dark and confused hamlet in Denmark, musical score by Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Mr. Shakespeare is perhaps best known for his version of Romeo and Juliet, starring the immortal Leonardo DiCaprio. Mr. Shakespeare was a fine writer, director, and actor. He will be missed. ________________________________________
__________________________ Quest tries to hang himself from genitals! CNN 'personality' found with 'favorite sex toy'
By Mickey Sartre, News Lampoon cub reporter April 21, 2008--It hurts when you have to report a story like this about one of your own, but I've got a job to do, and I'm going to do it. CNN reporter Richard Quest was busted over the weekend in Central Park. The New York papers report that it was "not immediately clear" what poor Richard was up to at 3:40 in the morning with his favorite sex toy tucked away in his boot other than he helpfully told police: "I've got some meth in my pocket." See Quest _________________________________ News Lampoon to go on 'forced hiatus' Citing recent blogger deaths, publisher will require staff to attend 10-day Florida 'retreat' See 'Forced hiatus' _____________________________ Ventura agrees with 9/11 theorists! April 4, 2008--We at the News Lampoon were startled and somewhat disappointed to learn that Governor Jesse Ventura said in an interview on the Alex Jones Show that he agreed with conspiracy theorists who contend the government lied to the American public about the circumstances surrounding the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Governor Ventura cited Loose Change, an hour-and-a-half-long film available on the Internet, as influencing him to change his opinion. After watching Loose Change ourselves, we agree that it brings up disturbing questions. We think we better understand the Governor's position and are not prepared to write him off as a "wack job," as so many others have done. While we are not yet prepared to join the conspiracy theorists, we are looking into the matter and will let you know our opinion after we've thoroughly investigated both sides' claims. In the meantime, we continue to support the "Draft Jesse" movement and urge you to watch Loose Change and decide for yourselves. The Editors Click the link to watch Loose Change. ________________________________ The News Lampoon supports The Alliance for Climate Protection Climate video
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